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Happy Anniversary

yes, today is our 5th year anniversary – but – my version of anniversary 🙂

soooo, our love is being celebrated in several versions.. every 3rd day of the month, we called it monthiversary, and every july 15th for my-side anniversary, and every october 27th for his-side anniversary… we usually do our best to bring ourselves to set a real date and talk about love and life… we had been so busy even before our marriage so we didn’t have the saturday date…

i find setting up fixed date for a romantic date is very helpful.. when my days was rough (or when i just crashed the car), then i go home and meet my hubby in a really bad mood, then of course i would not say anything right away (if it is not that urgent to talk about).. so in our dates, we’re so ready that at that moment we should be honest to each other… so small things happened during the month will come out every 3rd of the month and big stuff like life planning will go to the anniversary…

and after 5 years.. well, of course we’re getting know each other so well, fight a lot, hug a lot more, what we are missing now -due to being busy- is a chance to chitchat… like today, my hubby is at Batam, while i’m working with my baby Stan..

so today is one of our love dates, but we will not have any real date, since we are in different places right now.. i am chatting with some best friends and they are currently asking me about:

jealousy

they asked: how can my hubby and I – not being together for several days, several weeks, or even several months.. and still ok..

hmm, when i’m not with him, for sure – this mama don’t spend her life crying..haha.. i will try my best to do any fun activity… or work.. or google around… and i believe he does the same thing, he will most probably work and have fun when i’m not by his side..

Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection.

Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.” [wikipedia]

see.. jealous IS feeling insecure

well, see, i can confidently say i’m ok.. i’m a woman who knows how to take care of herself, her house, and her family.. i know what i am doing and what i want in life.. i am happy with myself…and i am so confident that he loves me..

and I know I’m not perfect…

i know i’m not a model.. i’m no longer that young and fresh, do not have a good figure, but hey, i believe i’m ok and sexy-ish.. anyway, sexy is a state of mind… right?

i can easily burst into anger, clumsy, moody, and crazy… but i know who i am… that’s the most important… so i can always feel secure… i am happy all by myself, but would be happier if i have my hubby by my side…

–adjective
1.
feeling resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his rich brother.
2.
feeling resentment because of another’s success, advantage, etc. (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his brother’s wealth.
3.
characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.
“[dictionary.com]

jealous is overthinking… i don’t want to spend any second to think about any what if-s… what if my husband has a romantic dinner with a beautiful girl… what if my husband calls someone else instead of me… NOOO…. i’d prefer to go to the mall with my baby Stan… have fun…. work on my paper.. read my novels (that i bought months ago but never had the chance to read… there are sooooo many things to do instead of being scared of stupid things…

well, i love him, so when he’s away what i’m jealous at is his opportunity to go to Batam, not to him… hihihi…. oooops, that’s different.. i think, it is “envy”…

so, i understand i cannot always be with him or my baby Stan, but I know God will always will, so why do I have to think negatively? *suddenly religious

it is time to have fun and treat myself right.. my LIFE.. my HAPPINESS..

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